A Little Rant

Let me start this off by saying, "Guilty as charged". I'm not claiming that I say the right thing at the right time every time. I'm not saying in the future I'll always say the most heartfelt words at the perfect moment either. What I am saying is that when people do choose to share their stories with me now my words are more considerate and open. For the most part, people mean well. I know that. I've meant well when I've made cliche statements or said thoughtless things to fill an awkward silence or uncomfortable moment. Most of the time people aren't looking for some earth-shattering, etch it in stone quote. They just want to be heard. Cancer scares people. It scares people into saying some stupid things. I've compiled this little list of things that at some point since my diagnosis have been said to me. Not all are direct quotes but you'll get the idea. Oh, and I'm feeling pretty good today so there might be a little sarcasm in my responses (most of which I did not say outloud!). As you read these and you think, "Oh crap, I said that!", it's ok. If I like you I cut you a little slack :)

* "I think my aunt had that cancer and she died." Well, that's really encouraging. Thanks for the inspiration. Jerk.

* "Did you know that _________ (fill in the blank with anything from seaweed to purple cows) helps prevent cancer?" Um, in case you forgot I already have cancer. Thanks for making me feel good about it.

* "The third cousin of my co-workers exes psychiatrist had that cancer and they said it's wasn't that bad. You'll be fine." Sounds credible. Plus, don't make statements you can't guarantee.

* "Well, good thing you got the best kind of cancer." Right. I'm so glad I got the "good" cancer. It's about as good as getting the "good" seat on death row.

* "Aren't you supposed to lose weight when you have cancer?" Actually, no. Steroids, a messed up metabolism, limited foods that sound good and minimal exercise don't usually combine for weight loss.

* "I'm praying for/thinking about you." Are you really? Or are you just saying that because you feel like you should?

* "You should wear a wig/hat/makeup." Yeah, well you should get a face lift.

* "I understand." Unless you've gone through it, no, you don't.

* "Let me know if there's anything I can do." Don't say that. Do something. Actions speak louder than words.