Grateful For Today, Hopeful For Tomorrow

As the old Ice Cube song goes, "...today was a good day...". In fact, it was a great day. It was stocked full of nothing but goodness but I have this underlying current about what lies ahead. But first, let me share the goodness because these are the things I want to (and should!) focus on. Since I woke up this morning the following has occurred:

* A visit from some of my "favorite" clients. The wife is currently battling breast cancer and she took time out of her day to check on me! Love them!
* Another set of clients mailed me a very sweet, somewhat overwhelming gift and letter. I am blessed by their generosity.
* A visit with one of my "cancer angels". I so enjoy our talks and the laughs and encouragement we share.
* Not a single sour cherry in the handful I grabbed at lunch. Hey! Sometimes it's the little things :)
* Because of the AWESOME manager I work with I was nominated for and received the "Distinguished Professional" award at work today. How cool is that?!? I owe an entire post to Theresa and the rest of my office buddies and how they have helped me through this.
* A text from my sister. Just because.
* A note from my "oldest" friend, Allisa, with envelope artwork by her son, Jack. And the voicemail I received later in the day that had both of their voices and laughter.
* Listening to the excitement in my Goddaughter Blakely's voice as she shared she, "Go pee in potty!". Seriously kids melt my heart.

I know, I am blessed. I was thinking of all of these things as I drove home tonight and was overwhelmed. Yet, there was something else there and I was mad at myself for thinking about anything negative when I have so much goodness in my life. I'm learning (definitely a work in progress!) how to feel my emotions and not just bottle them up or dismiss them. So, in my madness I cried and laughed and punched my steering wheel and thoroughly freaked out the people in traffic around me, I'm sure of it! Being behind the wheel is probably not the best time to practice my new skills but whatever, I did and I lived and so did they. After my freak out session I came to the realization that I'm nervous for this weeks appointments and I'm tired of thinking about the next thing. I'm nervous about my PET scan tomorrow morning and the radiation simulator tomorrow afternoon and getting bloodwork done after that. And just for shits and giggles I'll throw in the port flush and results appointment on Friday. I don't want to think about another appointment. I can't wait to be done with all of this.

Thank you all so much for being my support system. Please pray for a clear scan tomorrow. I really am grateful for today and hopeful for tomorrow.